It Starts With You!

Forgiveness I think is one of the most misunderstood words in the English language. It can take a lot to forgive depending on the circumstances and at times people find comfort in holding on to the pain whether than releasing it. Others see forgiveness as a sign of weakness, and some feel as though they are not worthy enough to receive it.

No matter what your disposition is on forgiveness, I hope your perception changes today. Forgiveness starts with YOU!

Just like love is an action word… forgiveness is an action word too. It’s not enough to merely say “Oh I forgive you” but there should be corresponding action behind the word(s).

I feel that being transparent shows you’re a person of integrity but it also creates an environment for people to be comfortable and open. In a world where deception is the new norm, it is a breath of fresh air to come across someone that will just keep it real.

With that said… While in conversation with my husband of eight years, he shared some news with me that rocked me to the core. There was a conundrum of emotions that came over me all at once: devastation, fear, hurt, shock, anger, insecurity, desolation, disbelief, you name it… I felt it! Spending months prior to my husband’s divulgence the Lord had been continually ministering to me on/about forgiveness. I took in all He had to share with me through His word, in prayer, and through other (wise) people. After a while I was like, “ok, Lord what is it? What am I not seeing or understanding?” Well the time would come some months down the road when the need to forgive would arise.

The disclaimer here is that forgiveness or the act of forgiving is not about the other person, but it’s about YOU! There will be times in your life that people who have wronged you won’t even ask you to forgive them, but you must find it within yourself to choose to forgive and be free from the bondage that comes from unforgiveness.

Now I could have been bitter and angry towards my husband and I could have been vengeful, but I chose to love on my husband and I thanked God for the opportunity to take hold and apply all that He had taught/shown me the months prior. Your life ends at the moment you decide not to forgive. Why? Because you will always resort back to what someone did or said that offended you and you will not be a vessel to experience all that God has for you. Forgiveness is a choice you have to make EVERYDAY but there is beauty and benefits in forgiveness. Forgiving brings blessings to you. Forgiving others paves the way for you to be forgiven. Forgiving allows you to forget and move forward. Forgiving frees you to worship God with your whole heart. Forgiving proves that you are kind and tenderhearted. Forgiving makes you Christ like. Forgiving is the way you pursue peace and keep from becoming bitter.

Without forgiveness we remain tethered to the person who harmed us. We are bound with chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped. Until we forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness; that person will be our jailor. When we forgive, we take back control of our feelings. We become (ALWAYS with God) our own liberators. We don’t forgive to help the other person. We don’t forgive for others. We forgive for ourselves.

I want to experience all God has for me and I want you to experience all that God has for you too. “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.”(Mark 11:25 NKJV) I pray that you take a step towards forgiving others and forgiving yourself. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it. Keep Calm and DIVA On! 

Thank you Lord that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and therefore I have the strength to forgive others for anything that has disappointed or hurt me. Thank You that You are the God of forgiveness. Thank You for Your mercy and grace towards me. Thank You that You have released me from any stronghold of unforgiveness. Take away any feelings in me that cause me to think I need to pay back hurt for hurt. I “strive to have a conscience without offense” toward others (Acts 24:16) When I need to be forgiven, help me to apologize and receive forgiveness. Where there are places in me that harbor unforgiveness that I am not even aware of, please reveal to me so I can confess them to You. I know that “You, Lord are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You” (Psalm 86:5). I call upon You this day and ask You to forgive for any unforgiveness I have toward anyone. I know that You, Lord, are the only one who knows the whole story, so I refuse to be the judge of all that happens in my life. You are the one “who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the heart.” (1 Corinthians 4:5) Break any entrenched unforgiveness in me by the power of Your Spirit. Help me to love the way You do, so I can release all unforgiveness and be cleansed from all unrighteousness in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!